So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
