he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
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I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
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I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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