You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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