yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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