i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
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