i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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