I accidentally had phone sex last night
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
