Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize