Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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