i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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