FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize