Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
