david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
