It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize