i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
either way he was missing a nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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