i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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