You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
