Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
