Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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