Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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