What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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