I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
