And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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