I would go down on you faster than GM stock
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
