the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
