can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
