i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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