Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
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Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
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Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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