Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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