she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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