***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
