I got chris browned last night
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
