we have officially lost it.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
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believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
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rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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