well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
