It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
