Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
