zippers are such a cool invention
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
