where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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