Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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