this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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