If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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