well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
my being single is dangerous.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I fill condoms, not promises.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
