Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
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