Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize