Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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