2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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