Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
