My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
