One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
