I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
