i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
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Exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize