the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
