Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
