he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
