stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
