Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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