a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
